Happiness is measured by the smile on your face, and nothing else.
I would rather be pretty good at a hundred things than be really good at only one.
We may not all leave an indelible mark on humanity, but we will all affect the people in our lives.
1 tequila! 2 tequila! 3 tequila! FLOOR!
The kinds of women I like are more impressed by a muddy Jeep than a shiny Ferrari.
Old men can be mean drunks, and great story tellers.
Variety is good, but experience is the spice of life.
I am not a race car driver
Friendships can be maintained over long distances, relationships cannot.
Four pints of Guinness is a square meal.
If at first you don't succeed: get a divorce, move to Texas, and figure out that you prefer blondes anyway.
Don't tell anyone what she did with you last night unless she tells them first.
If you are celebrating New Years in Times Square, there will be nowhere to pee.
If you take your hat off and wave it around like a jack-ass while riding a mechanical bull you won't be riding the mechanical bull for very long at all.
Sometimes an ounce of prevention stifles innovation.
Once you have heard your buddies recount the same story more than three times over drinks- it is time for a new adventure.
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