Europalooza and the Pickled Liver (from 2007)

We left saturday evening, arrived in Prague (sans baggage) Sunday afternoon.
After short deliberation a few coworkers and I determined that a bing drinking excursion was in order

After about 5 hours at U-Fleku (a beer garden). I realized that "chain drinking" (the server landed a fresh pint on the table before you finished your last pint) was an excellent way to improve international relationships. We ended up hanging out with a crew of Russian Journalists and doing the chicken dance amongst other things... (I have video). Everyone was having a good time EXCEPT for a small group from Boston who made the humble request that our party "not be so American". I explained thats not happening- eventually they left, and hilarity ensued.

Based upon my intercultural learning from this trip I now believe that if the world leaders could just get together and pound some fresh brewed Czec lager we would live in a much better place.

Post intoxication we brazenly wandered through the streets of eastern europe slurring our speech and staggaring toward the Hilton. Upon arrival we discovered that the airline had delivered our bags- celebration ensued. How did we celebrate? By staying up until 1 am cocktailing in the hotel bar.

@ 9:00am Monday we all attended a big meeting with our CEO, it lasted 6 hours and was mostly propaganda- kind of a "drink the corporate kool-aid" kind of pep-rally. once concluded we celebrated by drinking in the bar until it was time to attend the "casual dinner"

Casual dinner was held in a medeval battle emplacement. The tower was 3 stories tall, I sat on the third floor with the "Red Clan" we were given red plastic tunics to wear over our clothes. Being on the third floor proved to be what myBritish friends refer to as "Shite".
First, the food was cold, but that was ok because it tasted aweful. It is also a scientific fact that warm air rises. So here I was sitting on the third floor of a large stone cylinder as our hosts furiously stoked the fires on the first floor to keep the chill off the green clan on the flirst floor, the blue clan on floor 2 was temperate, but the red clan was sweltering. After approx an hour I realized that I was being baked, so I shed my big red sweat tent.

In apology for this sad state we were given unlimited amounts of ale, which we consumed readily.
At this point we also began playing drinking games- green glass door, name association- hilarity ensued.

After dinner we returned to the hotel- and then adjurned to a dance club made famous in the instant cinematic classic "XXX" staring that incredibly talented block of wood- Vin Diesel. Guess what we did there?

I drank absinthe- and nearly yacked. If you want to try Absinthe, just mix cheap tequila with equal parts mouthwash and shoot. Had a strange encounter with two fellows in the bath room who apparently wanted to discuss rap music (they kept exclaiming "50 Cent! 50 Cent!" and refering to me as they said America! it was very weird.) The club was kind of sucky- the actually played the Numa Numa song. At about 5:00am we returned to the Hilton where I passed out until 2:00pm the following day.

Spent a good chunk of the time between 2:00 and 6:00 wandering around Prague and taking random photos.

7:00pm we got dressed up and went to the Prague museum of modern art for cocktail party, and dinner. James Bond Theme- complete with stunt show.

Open Bar... Guess what we did... Are you noticing the theme here? Party ends at 2:00am, and we head back to the hotel and drank in the bar until 8:30am. No I am not fucking kidding. Eight fucking thirty.

at 4pm I boarded flight to Paris on the european equivilent of Southwest Airlines. Arrival Paris Orly-I discovered at the currency exchanger counter that the French really ARE assholes.

Took a cab into the city for 34 euros- arrive hotel- this place is nice. Take shower, then Dinner in a side street cafe, bottle of wine, passed out in bed while listening to my Ipod.

Awake- touring Paris... Walked along the Sienne, visited the Louve- the Monalisa is tiny, japanese tourists are not shy about stepping into your photos. Cathedral of Notre Dame- religion is commerce- same problem with the Japanese. Discover Hard Rock Cafe, and declare it the unofficial American Embassy in Paris. Consumed 10 (yes 10) long island iced teas, and an untold number of heinekins. I also began faking an austrailian accent. I bought a t-shirt, then we wandered home along the darkened streets of Paris singing Aleuetta, and at times skipping (yes skipping). Got a great shot of the Louve Pyramid entrance lit up for night. Crashed at hotel.

Awake again- slept in a little, and it is raining. After hesitation we departed for the Eiffel Tower. We arrive, we see, I take photos. On to the Arc de Triomphe - we see, I take more photos and we wander back to the Louve, hit the gift shop, then back to the Hotel for a well deserved steam in the sauna.
Feeling refreshed we embark on the dinner mission and end up at a Tex-Mex joint on Rue St. George. Our server is charming, the food is a decent representation and we start in on Mohitos and Margaritas- and adjurn to some clubs off the beaten path as advised by Elsa (the server who was blown away when we tipped 20%)
At club 1- we decended 4 flights of stairs into a tomb like club with pulsing techno music. We ordered some Mohitos- which the bar tendress tainted with bitters. I decided we should leave before someone bit my neck and I grew adverse to sunlight. We left the drinks there, and proceeded to club 2- which turned out to be a sausage party. Adjourn to hotel, pack get ready for 7 AM departure.

Charles de Gaulle International Airport eats my ass. Check in, and gate security are totally fucked. I get on my plane to discover that the seat vacated by Amanda has been filled.....

By the cutest French girl I have ever seen.

Her name is Charline. She speaks about as much English as I speak French, but we manage to communicate by using a translator program on her laptop. She is going to Vancouver to study, and we pass a few messages about British Columbia, and the things that interest us. We watched stranger than fiction, and the prestige on in flight movie channels.

I took a cab home, and was relieved to sit in my own living room, turn on my big ass TV... And for the first time in over a week- not drink (until about 10pm when I met up with Jeremy, but that is another story)

so that was my trip to Europe! I'd like to thank Vanco for the international ticket, and hotel stay in Prague, not to mention open bars, and swanky events. I'd like to thank Andrew for being Andrew, Charnoch- You rock Babe, wouldn't have been the same without ya!
Jeremy, Kevin, Brady, Deb, Lisa, Hook, and everyone else I got inebriated with- thanks for being friends. that shit was awesome.